06. Zi Xi
To embrace the ways I differ from others.
Conversation:
"The Beauty Of Being Me"
“Creating art has been a journey of self-discovery, revealing my inherent strengths and resilience, and pushing me to surpass my own mental limitations. My old self-portraits, in particular, have taught me to embrace my quirks and the ways I differ from others. These once embarrassing traits have blossomed into defining characteristics of my identity, making me uniquely me.”
Photography: Karman | Outfit & Clogs: Hermès
“Genuine beauty takes time. A lot of time,” she says. She takes her time to articulate her thoughts, drawing out her words with care and sincerity. She takes her time to arrive gently into each new day, with ease, with intention. Her time, she hopes, will make a difference in the world around her. Her time is the best gift she could give the ones she cherishes. Her time nourishes her garden— a picture of grateful ebullience. Her time, taken to restore and rebalance, is her language of self love.
I first met Zi Xi a few years ago. Exactly when I do not remember. Only that it was a time when we were still protecting and reconstructing our selves behind masks. It was a brief introduction at an Hermès presentation. Brief, but indelible. Her quiet presence is vivid if you paid attention. It’s a quietude that belies a richness—a colourful, enchanting world within. Someone showed me her art. Yes, indeed, her vibrant inner world on canvas and murals (digital and tangible).
We met again recently, for the purpose of this story. This time, I was invited to a privileged glimpse into her creative space (her home studio), and the private sanctuary that is her heart. No masks.
I won’t lie—the first minutes were awkward for these two introverts. But I have come to appreciate the beauty of such an awkwardness—the sincerity and honesty of it. It was only awkward because neither of us was trying to be more of someone we’re not in order to be less uncomfortable. Maybe it is this resolute refusal to abandon our true selves that we recognised in each other which led to the ensuing deep and heartfelt conversation and connection. Two hours turned into four. Yet, shockingly, neither of us felt drained by the time we said goodbye.
In 2012, Susan Cain published a book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking”, which lit up my world and showed me my superpower—which I had always considered to be my Kryptonite. I’m now suddenly recalling it, and this feels like the right time to highlight this particular paragraph. A love note, perhaps, to Zi Xi, to my self and to you, who may be also still learning to see and own the unique power and beauty that is you.
“We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many different kinds of powers in the world. One child is given a light saber, another a wizard's education. The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of available power, but to use well the kind you've been granted. Introverts are offered keys to private gardens full of riches. To possess such a key is to tumble like Alice down her rabbit hole. She didn't choose to go to Wonderland—but she made of it an adventure that was fresh and fantastic and very much her own.” With love,
Me: What is something beautiful you’ve seen lately? Zi Xi: I think that would be a piece of advice from a friend—it is the idea of not comparing success, and instead asking oneself:
“What is my contribution to the world?"
Me: If you were to look through your screen grabs of 2025 so far, do you see one that captures a moment that felt especially beautiful to you? Zi Xi: I think many of my screen grabs are mundane, trivial matters. Recently, my interest in Chinese calligraphy grew, and during this year’s CNY, I decided to carve out some time in the mornings to paint. Through the process, I found myself thinking of how I could use this as a means to bless others with new year greetings of the zodiac animal and quotes that are hand-painted. So I painted throughout the 15 days of CNY and snail-mailed as many of these greeting paintings as I could to friends. I felt satisfied and was surprised that this simple gesture could bring joy and delight to a friend. And in return, my heart felt very full. Perhaps this was me finding beauty in keeping the traditions of sharing greeting cards and the art of calligraphy. I hope to make this a yearly personal “tradition”.
Me: Look beauty in the heart. See her with new eyes. How do you define “beauty”? Zi Xi: To me, genuine beauty takes time. Taking time—a lot of time. When we look at nature, we would always exclaim, WOW THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! And I think this beauty is often unaltered, best left in its natural form. Nature has taken a very long time to form and transform, and in parallel, this is how I feel about my plants and garden as a whole. To see the garden flourish and grow, it takes a lot of patience, time and energy to care for it. At times, when I'm so busy and overwhelmed, they are left neglected, but I would return to find some plants pushing out flowers and even thriving, which is nature’s way of protecting itself from dying. All in all,
“I think there is a lot of beauty when one is willing to take time to observe, learn something, and grow from it. Nature has its way of bringing beauty to life even during times of adversity.”
Me:
How would you describe the beauty you’d like to see more of / to create—within your self and in the world around you?
Zi Xi:
Time is the best gift you can give to someone. Making time for others. They often say it’s the heart that counts. And I want to be more intentional with how I spend my time, and also making time for others. It could be the smallest gesture or words during a conversation that uplift someone from a situation or a bad thought.
Earlier this year, I met with a friend for lunch. Initially, I felt quite apprehensive as everyone brings with them different energy and values. I tried to be open-minded and positive during the meet-up. It went OK for me, but little did I know—until she texted me one day—that I was a friend who cared to be real with her. “So I feel that if I can make a little difference in bringing positivity and being genuine in my actions and words to others, the world around me can slowly become a beautiful place. Because transformation in a person or a situation takes time.”
Me:
It is said that what you admire in another is a mirror for what you desire to be more of. When you recognise beauty in other women, what do you see?
Zi Xi:
I've had the privilege of spending time with truly special individuals whose grit, talent and perspectives on life deeply resonate with me. “I find beauty in witnessing their strength through hardship, their kindness towards others, and their unwavering curiosity about the world.”
Me:
How would you complete this sentence: “I feel most beautiful when …”
Zi Xi:
I feel most beautiful when I can make a difference to the world or even to a friend, by giving a little of myself.
Me:
What makes you feel un-beautiful? Can you recall an event that has made you feel that way? What do you do to untether your self from such an emotion/energy, from false narratives that has been foisted upon you?
Zi Xi:
My childhood nickname by some relatives was "Xiao Hei Ji" (Chinese for “Little Black Chicken”)—a label stemming from my tan complexion, skinny build and a grumpy look. Consequently, I grew up feeling "ugly." This discomfort extended into my adolescent years, where my thin frame made me feel out of sync with the physical development of other girls. However, a conversation with my sister became a turning point. Sharing my insecurities, her statement resonated: “‘The ideals of beauty and physical attractiveness are subjective. Even those with conventionally beautiful bodies aren't guaranteed love or attraction.’ This profound observation led me to redirect my attention to appreciating my inner worth.”
Me: The beauty I hope to encourage through this space is an intentional beauty that comes from a place of well-being, self-love and self-expression. Could you tell me about your idea and approach to intentional beauty? What practices, attitudes, messaging do you feel are important and in alignment with your current beliefs and ideals of beauty? Zi Xi:
“I'm choosing to define beauty for myself, as society's standards are ones I can't and won’t chase. The reality of ageing—wrinkles, freckles and all—is a constant invitation to embrace my body in every season. My priority is to cultivate self-kindness, knowing that this inner love will naturally overflow to those around me.”
Me: What is the first thing you see, and what have you noticed to be the first thoughts / feelings to come up when you look in the mirror or a photograph of yourself? Zi Xi: How I have aged. Me: What does loving your self entail these days? Zi Xi: To love myself, I prioritise my time. Being a natural workaholic who truly enjoys my job, I've learned the hard way that balance is key, where my health and peace of mind come first. This looks like ensuring I get enough rest and sleep—simple luxuries, really. For me, resting means things like hiking, doing some relaxing painting, tending to my garden, and making quality time for the people I love.
Me:
Is there a self-care practice you intend to deepen, or start for the benefit of your mental, emotional, physical wellbeing, as well as spiritual and creative growth?
Zi Xi:
I've started a practice of creating “mindless paintings”—where I simply begin painting and let the artwork unfold organically. I'm not sure where this will lead each time, but I wanted to paint and draw without the mental strain my work often requires. Lately, I've acquired some tiny notebooks and watercolour paper that I can freely create with, which helps me unwind into the night.
On Art & The Self.
Me: Art is an intimate expression of one’s self. It often requires looking deep within ourselves, into vulnerable places, making sense of uncomfortable or unfamiliar truths and feelings in order to create a space—whether that’s a painting, an object, a poem or a piece of music—for meaning and beauty to come through. I’m curious to know what your creative rituals are—before you embark on a new work, for example, or each morning before you get into your creating zone.
Zi Xi:
I'm someone who likes to ease into the day. My mornings are a gentle routine of coffee or Milo, a simple bite, tending to my plants, a quick news update, and a little house tidying before I step into the studio.
Once I'm working, I usually become deeply focused on completing my tasks. I remember a conversation with a veteran local Chinese painter, whose shan-shui hua (山水画: Landscape painting) practice intrigued me given Singapore's urban landscape.
“He emphasised that true artistic inspiration requires direct engagement with nature, providing references beyond imagination. This shifted my creative process, as I had become over-reliant on online research, which, while accessible, often felt limited and repetitive.”
Now, whenever time allows, I seek inspiration through nature walks, visits to the Botanic Gardens, or even dedicated study at the library, finding that new surroundings often unlock fresh perspectives.
Me: What would you say is your biggest creative block? How do you overcome it each time you experience it? Zi Xi: Working primarily from home, I often encounter the predictable and sometimes stifling nature of the environment. To break from this, the library becomes my go-to for inspiration through its resources, or just a simple change of scenery. Furthermore, connecting with fellow artists for an exchange of ideas and learning from their work, lives, and approaches are essential for growth. Me: What has your art taught you about who you are and how to see “beauty” in new ways? Zi Xi: Creating art has been a journey of self-discovery, revealing my inherent strengths and resilience, and pushing me to surpass my own mental limitations.
“My old self-portraits, in particular, have taught me to embrace my quirks and the ways I differ from others. These once-embarrassing traits have blossomed into defining characteristics of my identity, making me uniquely me.”
Me:
Complete the thought: The beauty of being Me is...
Zi Xi:
… finding contentment in the small joys of the mundane, and appreciating beauty in the vernacular.
Name: Tan Zi Xi
Work: Artist
Age: 40
Who are you?
“A metaphor of God’s grace.
Presently, home is…
"a sanctuary for peace and resolve, and inherently a work-in-progress."
My current favourite line is…
"Never forget your beginner’s spirit.”
A few more shots of Zi Xi I like that couldn’t fit into the layout:
Thank you for reading. I hope you’re enjoying the stories. If you have a question on beauty, well-being, relationships, et cetera, you’d like to ask me or experts I can ask on your behalf, leave a message. ❥